Butterfly Chronicles Volume 25: Every Good Thing - Every Perfect Gift

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above.

Dear Zachery,

Today is Valentine's Day. And, it is Tuesday. I try not to think about that, and most Tuesdays now I can keep my mind away from Tuesday being that day. But, today was hard.

I saw you in the faces of people I passed, places I went. Madison is tired of Saxon - just like you were. So, off we went to the Homeschool Store to choose something else. Walking through the rows, I was struck with the memories of so many trips there to buy and sell books. You and Madison sitting in front of the little TV watching Veggie Tales or some other "keep the kids entertained" kind of movie.

Later, I was driving on Kingwood Drive and turning right onto W. L. H. Pkwy. My light was green, but the young man crossing in front of me had the "walk" sign, and as I waited for him to safely pass, I thought about him and that he is someone's son and how lucky she is to have him and does she know it and act on it enough? And I wished he was you.

Fighting the sadness, I struggled to climb into the happy memories. Raging rapids, you shooting through that fast stretch of river in New Braunfels - your legs splayed straight out, pressing against the tube and arms holding on for dear life and that toothy, extraordinarily shiny smile that wore your whole face.

My little leather chapped up, fringed leather vest wearing cowboy, Bible Man, Star Wars light saber wielding warrior, camouflaged, army helmeted, tummy army wiggling through the fern forest flower bed.

And that picture that comes to my mind so often, taken just weeks before that Tuesday - you on the inner tube behind the boat, on your knees, arms stretched to heaven - free, so free, and I thought so happy. We thought. But your chains are gone. You've been set free. And that's what I think when that picture of you pops into my head and I cry tears of pain and joy all tumbled up together. Chains gone, free. You are free!

You, the good thing given. You, the perfect gift from above. We miss you, son. But I'm so thankful we have the good memories given - the good memories a perfect gift from above. And we have the good and perfect gifts of each other, our family, our friends, and people we don't even know who pray peace and comfort over us day in and day out.

Happy Valentine's Day, son.

Love,
Mom