Checking out at Walmart today, I met Maria, my cashier. Somehow, we stumbled into a conversation about our kids being messy, and I shared Zach's situation and how it taught me only the living make messes and how most things in life aren't nearly the big deal I thought they were now that I've lived through the death of a kid.Immediately, she let me know I'd hit a nerve, "Thank you for sharing that. My 15 year old daughter tried to do that 3 weeks ago," and the tears welled up threatening a break in the dam. "I live my whole life trying to keep her alive now and trying to figure out what to do." (Oh, Raeann, how very well we know the story of that life.)
"Whatever it takes," I said. "You do whatever it takes. You sell your house. You sell your car. You give it all up to make sure she's okay, to make sure she's still alive in the morning."
Nodding with conviction, she swiped at her tears whispering, "I know. I know."
At that moment, she opened her heart to me leaving me breathless, broken, and knowing God had arranged this meeting.
"At 18 I had a child die," she shared, "issues with the pregnancy. She was so small. In my 20's another one died. In my 30's another one."
I could barely breathe. "Dear God. I am so so very sorry."
"It's why I know I will do anything to keep her alive. I keep checking on her during the night to make sure she's still alive in the morning."
As we continued talking, I told her I know Zachery is in heaven and that I'll see him again, and we swapped God stories about how beauty really can come from ashes. She ministered to me. I ministered to her.I told her, "You understand faith. You understand that you can still trust a God who allowed 3 babies to die and who didn't let your daughter die now. It's a weird thing to be able to trust a God who allows this stuff, but you do trust Him. And I trust Him."
Then we talked beauty from ashes. We compared notes on how even though we know the most horrific things do happen, have happened, we also know we wouldn't know God now the way we do if those very things had never happened. God's economy is so different from man's. His ways and thoughts are higher than ours.
This beautiful God loving woman is named Maria. I told her I would pray for her. I told her I understand staying up all night to make sure a kid is still alive in the morning. She brushed away more tears, and I brushed away mine.
This was a Divine Appointment. I needed Maria today and she needed me. She needs you too. Can you pray for her? Pray for Maria and her daughter and her daughter's life. His mercies are new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness.
By the way, I'm keeping my great nephew today, and he has pointed out butterflies to me the whole time we have been together. They still come every single day.
