Butterflies

On our first trip to the grief counselor, she told us to be on the lookout for God’s little grace messages, and she proceeded to tell us this story:

A family buried their child, and at the graveside, they released butterflies representing the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ, and the victory of life over death because of Him. Once home to the country, their lives continued but were filled with all the grief associated with the death of a child. One day, an unusual event occurred. A butterfly flew into their home and alighted on a framed photograph of their deceased child…

The story, although touching, didn’t really resonate through my grief and numbness…it had only been two days since Zachery died.

On our way to the graveside for Zachery’s final service, the funeral procession crawled down 59 at such a snail’s pace that Michael and I were concerned about the safety of all the drivers. As we putted along, a butterfly came into view right in front of our car flying straight toward our windshield. It soared up and over our car, but in the fog of grief, I didn’t really get it…at that point. Oh, but God is faithful!

After the service, we returned to my parents’ home to spend a final day with our out-of- town and local families. During this visiting time, I received a call from Marcie, our funeral director. She wanted to deliver the flowers and other items from the funeral home. In one of the packages she dropped off, I found a picture made by the “cousins” from Austin…it was a butterfly. Tapping at my consciousness, the first inklings of those grace messages the counselor mentioned started to creep into my mind.

Shortly after the discovery of the butterfly picture, Kathy, a teacher and friend from our homeschool group, dropped by to deliver some food…she was scheduled to do this, but another friend had unexpectedly catered our family gathering after the funeral, and Kathy had been told we didn’t need her meal yet. So, it was just extra effort and kindness on her part that brought her to our door that day. When Kathy came in, we chatted, surrounded by family members. Somebody in the background called, “Beth, look at her shirt…” A butterfly…right in the middle of her shirt…the grace message was beginning to take hold.

I excitedly explained to Kathy the butterfly story and sightings and she quipped, “Well, the day’s not over yet.” We laughed at the coincidences. Within just a few minutes, I heard a clattering in the midst of the heap of plants from the funeral home as my sister tried to make her way through them. She stooped over to retrieve what had fallen, and it was a set of wind chimes…extended from a stained glass butterfly. At this point, I realized the enormity of what God was doing. This was His message.

God had spoken His presence to us with each butterfly, but it didn’t stop there. A handmade card arrived with a butterfly on the front. Another card left at our home by one of the police officers had butterflies on it. A distant friend sent a heart wrenching letter sharing her grief over the home-going of her son…in the corner of the stationary – a butterfly. Butterfly stories and sightings happened without fail EVERY day.

In my darkest moments, God would send some sort of butterfly, and if not directly to me, then through a friend or family member. One of my sister’s friends brought me a butterfly charm and told me about how meaningful butterflies were to her mom. Her mom went so far as to get a butterfly tattoo after a Christian retreat which helped her deal with the suicide of her own mother. The retreat's symbol was the butterfly. Another told about the butterfly that alighted on the flowers atop her mother’s coffin. Neighbors brought Georgia to swim with Maddie – there were butterflies on her bathing suit. A family brought a meal and their daughter had butterflies on her shirt. My sister’s neighbor came out to say hello, and her t-shirt was covered with butterflies. A mathbook with a butterfly on the cover...

The stories go on and on and on – so much so that I’ve kept a list. And, God is still sending them 3 weeks later - live sightings, a glimpse of a butterfly while flipping TV channels, on a Bible verse my mom received at Bible Study. (Most of the sightings or happenings came through people who didn't know about the butterflies...so I've gotten to tell them and now you about how God was and is working!)

I’m not a mathematician or a statistician, but it doesn’t take much consciousness or a high IQ to realize this was infinitely more than coincidence. And this is just one vein of the grace messages that have come our way. God is good all the time. The providential hand of God is so real, so clear, so present. We just have to pay attention. Zachery has gone home, and God reminds me every single day where he is. That doesn't mean it's easy; it means we are NOT alone.

I've never been much of a "gospel giver." I never knew quite how to give it or what to say, I just tried the best way I could to live it and hoped God would plant and water the seeds. All that has changed because of Zach's home-going.

If you haven’t come before the throne of grace to accept the gift provided by Jesus and His work on the cross, I ask you from the depth of my soul to contemplate for yourself what His word says and simply believe it. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ right where you are without doing one other thing, and in that moment, you are saved, once for all, and you should start watching for your very own grace messages in happiness and in tragedy. Jesus Christ is the hope that is within me. I pray fervently for that hope for you too.