Butterfly Chronicles Volume 62: The Vision

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the 

strength of my heart and my portion forever."

The butterflies come. Today, the vision came again.

The field is alive with a wheat glimmering gold painted across miles and miles under a sky so blue my mind can't hold it all, the wheat a color not rivaled by the sun, a light so overwhelming I slowly grasp it is Him, Christ - a light alive all about and around that waving wheat.  Zach stands in the field, wheat up to his knees, the light in him.  He's so still, smiling, peaceful, content - words too small to tell what I see. 

Although I only see it in my soul, I know joy drips and pours out of Zach silky thick, a joy I could reach out and hold and feel alive in my soul, carressing my cares away like quiet ocean waves gently tickling the sand.  Happiness is a word minutely incomparable to what I can feel Zach feels.  It must be like what the stars felt when God breathed them into existence and why they hang in the sky proclaiming God's glory.

This vision, I know is a glimpse of Zach in heaven.  In motion from brain to tapping keyboard keys, words are inexhaustibly incapable of fully painting this picture for you or for me.  Words fail.  God is everywhere in that shimmering chandelier of light and wheat.  It is new and startling to me each time the vision comes. God makes it new every time - the discovery of Him all around and Zach in the light.  This God all around and in Zach unnerves me - it's too big for me in this flesh body.  It speaks its way into the pieces of my broken heart caressing and washing me clean of grief and filling me with the light, Jesus.

This vision is more real than anything I've lived in this life.  It is not something my mind could imagine.  The song of life mingling with God everywhere and Zach smiling a happiness so big it squeezes me breathless, but not the breathlessness of grief.  It is the breathlessness of love so perfect my soul floats above any pain as if I know what it will feel like when heaven is my home and pain is not something I can remember.

This is the hope that is within - this God who is bigger than words.  He infuses this vision full of hope and joy and in grace He shares with me what it will be like to meet Zach in a place more real than reality.  My heart knows this place is true and grace and perfection.  What a miracle for God to soothe my soul this way.  Awashed in grace, bound up in grace, perfect in His grace.  I love you, Zach.   Your heaven happiness gives me hope.  I've met the God who has made you whole, and I will meet you again someday - the vision becoming real, and we will glory in God's light in His golden field of wheat.