Butterfly Chronicles Volum 48: Paradise

"...you will be with Me in paradise..."

I write amidst a herd of white butterflies frolicking in the air around me and over the cliff edge to enjoy luscious shades of wavy blue-green aquas.

God's Kauai, one of the most impressively tranquil, breathtaking, peaceful places we've ever been, will hopefully be a repeat destination - and we don't repeat locales...until now.   Including traveling to the Waimea Canyon, hiking the rain forest above the canyon, stumbling down a jungle path to Queen's Bath, washing in the towering waves of Polihale beach, almost drowning while trying to paddle board as the wind unexpectedly tossed Hanalei Bay, listening to wild roosters doodle doooo all over the island, we've, with gleeful abandonment, surfed our time together.

As the sun delicately tip toes under the horizon splashing palest pinks, oranges bursting forth out of the womb of clouds, with a last sigh of day disappearing, sun sleeps and moon rises.  These days' ends float in the quiet of a creeping muscle ached tired moving closer to night rest.  It is in these door closings to day times - the empty heart place filling with stone, heavy and perching, dark as ocean night, over my eyes tear filling.  Uplifted gaze to God's crystal sky suspended chandelier - eyes trying to see the unseen and know the unknowable.  Sad comes hard, quick.

I wouldn't erase the coming here.  We four would just paint the pallet into we five -  filled with that Zach smile, that Zach bursting laughter ,that Zach daring jumping into skyscraper waves and sucking back ocean mouth pounding bodies into sand filling swim suits - tail ends drooping like dirty diapers - clawing our way back to safe shore.

Paradise, Zach's and ours, different places, his perfect, ours as perfect as fallen world can offer, we five live.  We four live forward to his and His paradise where we will be five forever.

So strange the empty space, so full of longing our hearts, so heavy the air not filled - sometimes knowing he is in forever paradise just isn't enough. 

A soul salve, the waves soothe.  Paradise waits. We try to move forward without forgetting what is behind.