Butterfly Chronicles Volume 47 - Reflections of Happy

Count your blessings,
Name them one by one
Count your blessings,
See what God has done.

Some days are okay – not good really, but not so sad – a break.  I wanted to write this now before the bottom drops out.  Sad’s hot breath curls the hair and tingles the skin on the back of my neck.  It won’t be long, so I want to talk happy today.

I read an article,

 http://redeemercitytocity.com/blog/view.jsp?Blog_param=446, that I really liked.  In it, J.R. Tolken was quoted from his Lord of the Rings series saying that God will make “everything sad come untrue.”  Just wow.  I serve an awesome God.

Listening to Christian radio (KSBJ), which has literally been a lifesaver for the past 10 ½ months, I heard one of my favorite songs this morning – which like so many – made me cry, but made me feel TRUTH – you know the kind that comes from a God so full of love it never ends.

I still believe in Your faithfulness.

I still believe in Your TRUTH.

I still believe in Your holy Word.

Even when I don’t see, I still believe.

Take a listen; skip the ad at the beginning. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4qPceadBMU&feature=related

Through the pain, God.  Just God.  Words sneaking around the walled up parts of my brain whisper, “Somebody always has it worse.  Somebody always has it worse.”  Sickened I feel by that mantra, but truth is truth no matter how hard it hurts.

I was able to share intimately with a grief stricken person recently, and I felt a sense of peace as I shared the slopes up and down I’ve slid on this journey.  It was good to share.  I hope it helped.  

The missing never stops.  Fear reaches out to embrace my hand, my mind, a deadly romancer.  This week, tearless, I’ve seen so many butterflies.  This week - my body licking up the sunlight blanketing the green soccer fields - I watched butterflies rest on branches, opening and closing wings to a beat I couldn’t hear, a beat orchestrated and choreographed by the One.  Wings open.  Close.  Open.  Close.  The door to my heart, open, but closed.  God and Zach visiting me under an oak tree, a ballet of wings under a green umbrella of dancing light.

Mind, heart, reality, past and present still veering in opposites, split, disconnected.

Thank you for visiting so many, many times this week, Zachery.  Thank You, God, for Zachery and for blessings to count.

Count your many blessings – see, SEE, SEE what God has done.